She Who Must Knit: That is my new Indian name, apparently. Because I was faced with a yarn shortage on Friday, July 1, accompanied by the panicky feeling that arises when there is no new little knitting project readily at hand. So I rose to the occasion by beelining to the nearest stores and making the purchase of a cheerfully gaudy two skeins of Lion Brand Magic Stripes in Jelly Bean Stripe to make a pair of socks. It was the only wool-content yarn I could find locally, and it was just too bloomin’ hot to drive across town in bumper-to-bumper holiday weekend traffic to visit my favorite yarn stores. (Why won’t someone build a LYS here in Collierville? *whimper*).
As you’ll see from my notes below, I will *not* make this mistake again; I’m now a dedicated LYS-only yarn purchaser. I was so disappointed in the quality of this yarn! But am still making the socks anyway.
I decided to document my socksy travails with digital camera and this blog because I know it helps me to learn from others’ goofs. What I’ve learned from this has also helped me. Apparently, I’m suffering from undiagnosed ADD — how could I be inattentive so many times?
I’ve named this project the Gaudy Frog Socks for reasons that will soon become apparent as my “learning experiences” progress. Gaudy for the yarn color. Frog for, eh, what I’ll be doing plenty of. (I have long ago accepted that my daily life is rather Lucy Ball-esque … I never know what the heck is going to happen next, and it’s usually something rather weird.)
It all started at the local Hobby Lobby and Hancock Fabrics stores, neither of which had any solid-color sportweight yarn with any wool contents. Of course. It’s hot enough outside that it feels as if the sun is kissing the surface of the Earth (92 degrees F. on Friday and 99 degrees on Monday, but who’s counting), so they have chosen to believe that their knitters only want acrylics and cottons. So I gave up on the two-color-stranding sock pattern I wanted to make in sportweight from my Betsy Lee McCarthy “Knit Socks!” book (dammit) and decided to just grab some ol’ faithful Magic Stripes.
So I get home and spread out all my gear and began with a set-up photo. And only then did I realize that the alternative pattern I’d chosen in this book called for WORSTED weight yarn. *smacking self in forehead* So I got online with a search for “perfect-fitting socks” because I remembered seeing a sock pattern calculator somewhere online previously. Heh-heh, I was ready for action again.

Only the bare essentials here, other than needles: Pattern onscreen, 1 of my 2 skeins of yarn, and (of course) chocolate.
First, I overcome my fear of the naked skein. I’m always tempted to just grab that oh-so-tempting thread on the outside of the skein; aren’t you? But since I don’t want the yarn to scamper all over the floor while I knit away, I dutifully felt around inside the skein for the “real” beginning of the center-pull skein.

Tickle, tickle.
I hate this part, because (1) I always feel a bit intrusive, like I’m going to run into some internal parts like a cervix in there (an overactive imagination has served me too well for many years), and (2) I inevitably pull out some critical internal part of the skein OTHER than the start of the yarn and create a big freakin’ tangle. Even when I’m relatively successful, I cringe when I pull out a big wad of what I’ve heard described as “yarn barf.”

Looks more like a little yarn umbilicus and a baby skein, doesn’t it?
This time wasn’t so bad, though. I’ve learned that it seems to work better if I twiddle both fingers around inside the holes at both ends of the skein for a bit until it just feels right, and then I yank. (It was sounding like another cervix hunt there for a second, at least on one of those two ends, until I got to that “yank” part, wasn’t it?)
So I really got started. I tend to knit loosely unless I’m tense, when I knit really tightly, so I’ve learned I really ought to swatch, and for more than just an inch or so. Plus, my only previous experience in sockdom was to laboriously create a lovely sock … that didn’t fit unless I was willing to have a heel-ectomy. So I swatched this time. It was immediately obvious that the size 4 DPNs recommended by the yarn’s belly-band label were too big for my loose knitting. Typical. See all that airiness? I don’t want that in a sock.


Bad swatch! Baaaaaaad swatch!
So I swatched again with size 3s. Still too airy.
Then I tried with size 2s. Or so I thought. It was only after I had completed a 24-stitch by 32-row swatch that I realized I had swatched with a size 2 needle in one hand and a size 3 in the other. At that point, I wanted to just stab the little bamboo sticks into my forehead and call it a day, but I’m nothing if not stubborn and foolish. So I frogged (again) and swatched (again).
The weird thing is that it yielded EXACTLY the same gauge. (Update: Uh, no, it didn’t. Funny how it’s easier to count the stitches in the photos than it was in person!)

Evil Swatch done on one Size 2 and one Size 3 DPNs

Evil Swatch on TWO Size 2 DPNs. Half a stitch difference (which I didn’t notice until I looked at the bloomin’ photos).
When I looked at the two swatches in person, I couldn’t see a difference and wondered if I had erred in thinking I used two different needle sizes the first time, or were the needle sizes so close that it didn’t affect the gauge? Or did I mysteriously compensate for it with my tension, with my telepathic knitter powers? Or do I just measure badly? Turns out after looking at the photos that I can confirm the diagnosis … I measure badly! And I didn’t include the photo here that reveals how I don’t lay the swatch out nice and square and flat. It was diamond-ish and not yet washed and blocked. Shh, don’t tell me; I can only stand so many learning experiences at a time.
But I’ve learned at least one thing from this experience. That I need to pay better attention because most of my mistakes seem to be from inattentiveness. And also that I need to invest in better quality materials if I’m going to spend this kind of time on a project, because I will inevitably be driven nuts by a glitch if I don’t pick it out and start over again.
So, back to the Gaudy Frog Socks. I commenced with the casting on late on Friday night … 96 stitches. Eh, what? That sounds more like an afghan panel. Sheesh. My calves aren’t ginormous, or not that I’ve noticed anyway, but that’s what this cuff-down pattern called for. (These are knee-length socks.) I got the first two inches done before I realized that … oops … the pattern said to knit ONE inch of 2X2 ribbing. Of course, I had read that as “TWO inches of 2X2 ribbing.” Must have been all those 2s elsewhere in the sentence.

The doomed first attempt.
Rather than tink 9 rows of 96 itty-bitty stitches per row, I just sighed and ripped it all out. It’s not a race, right? It’s the process, not the progress, right? Still, that ol’ stab to the forehead maneuver was starting to sound tempting again.

That’ll show you, yarn!
And I manfully began again. One completely mental aside for you here: Did you ever notice on the last stitch of casting on that it looks like a cross if you leave the second needle in there?

A knitter’s cross. Don’t know why I was so struck by this. Perhaps I’m thinking that this project needs more blessings than most!
So far, so good in my latest bout of knitting on this project; they are *very* colorful, which is what I wanted.

Not for the shy to wear.
I was disappointed in the feel of this yarn, though. My last purchase of the gray-blue-purple-white Magic Stripes was a good one; the yarn felt right. But this colorways feels kind of rough in the hand, and it looks like the dye didn’t penetrate very far into the yarn. And there are sloppy little spots of other colors spattered occasionally throughout (a bit of blue on the yellow, etc. — clearly mistakes). And the color is VERY uneven in the lime green and the pink parts of the yarn; it almost looks sprayed on rather than a dye that saturated the yarn. I’m reserving judgment but starting to really frown at this stuff. No more Lion Brand yarns … I should know this by now.
Then again, these socks are going to be so carnivaliciously colorful that I don’t think anyone will notice any minute color irregularities. ;o) I’ll keep reporting progress … if and when it occurs! My only goals for this weekend were to (1) finish painting my younger daughter’s room, (2) knit, (3) blog, (4) eat popsicles until the heat breaks or I run out of popsicles and have to dip into the fudgsicles, and (5) sleep really, really late each day. I might do some laundry over the next few days too, but only if I can’t successfully smother my conscience. I think I can hold that pillow down over its face, don’t you? (Update: I accomplished all goals except #1 and and #3 even made some progress toward #1. I also smothered the laundry urge, unfortunately!)
P.S. Here’s the reason I didn’t post this until Tuesday: I went to use my daughter’s computer on Saturday to download my digital photos, because my USB port is broken and I am trying to wait another three weeks until annual bonus time before I buy a new computer (the repair would require replacing the motherboard on this rickety old laptop). And while she’s gone to her dad’s house for two weeks, I see that she has shut down her computer. And password protected it.
Hmm. Her usual one didn’t work, so I clicked on the hint. It said, “god.” Well, what the hell? She told me just this week that she was beginning to believe she was not a Christian but “an atheist or that other one … whichever one means you believe in a higher power but think organized religion is kind a lot of baloney, and the Bible isn’t necessarily 100-percent true.”
Um, agnostic? She snapped her fingers, “Yeah, that!”
So I tried typing that — along with Jesus, God, ghod, Buddha, Jehovah, Yahweh, Lord, nobody, noone, and even damn (as in goddamn) and a few other word associations that sprang to mind, along with capitalization variations on all of these — but no dice.
So I grabbed my purse and headed out to buy a computer part. I headed to CompUSA, but for some reason found myself parked outside of OfficeMax a little while later. Temporary insanity, I guess. I was thinking of a science fiction story idea the whole time I was driving and just ended up in the wrong place. (I was not born to be a multi-tasker, but my brain keeps trying.) So THEN I go to CompUSA and buy a PCMCIA card with two USB ports. Ha-ha, foiled you, you wretched computer!
I got it home, and installation was a breeze. (Dance, dance, dance!) So … then I couldn’t find the cable that connects my camera to the computer. ARRRGH!!!!! I head to my office, where I assume I must have left it earlier this week, beside my computer. But it wasn’t there. On the way home, I remembered that I had changed purses earlier this week. And there the camera cable was, nestled among the purse grit at the bottom of my big summer straw purse. Grr. If I were not so used to myself, I would be really exasperated by this point.
By then, I was almost afraid to try hooking up the cable to the new USB ports to see if they work. (Insert a breathless pause here.) Okay. I tried. And it doesn’t.
So … now it’s Tuesday, I’m back at work where USB ports work and bosses don’t look over your shoulder even during a late lunchtime. And I’m uploading these photos, baby!
Update on the knitting: I got 10 rows into the increases before I decided I disliked the paired increases I’d used on the calf. So I tinked back to where the increases started and did ‘em again. Much prettier (invisible) the second time around, thanks to one of my reference books’ clear instructions. After 11 rows of straight stockinette, I commenced on the decreases toward the ankle. And now I don’t like them, either. These are “paired” decreases … and apparently you need to leave a stitch or two between them because it just looks gappy between them when you’ve got a left-leaning decrease butting up next to a right-leaning decrease. So I’m tinking out another 10 rows or so (*groan*) tonight. With all this quest for perfection, I’m investing in better yarn next time! ;o)
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